Obscure religions series begins!

I have decided to embark on a new writing project on the subject of obscure churches. This will be largely, but not entirely, devoted to religions based on Christianity. When I say "religion" I am referring to a huge variety of sizes of organisation. It can be anything from a couple of people who believe that the moon God is made of Edam and must be worshipped with Cranberry sauce offerings, to a major international movement complete with their own economy and mafia.

Living as I do, in the USA, there are plenty to choose from right on my own doorstep. It seems that on every street corner there are a tribe of people with bizarre beliefs and even more bizarre ways to worship. And I haven't even looked at the ones on TV yet...

 One would hope that religious people could find it in their god-fearing hearts to put aside their differences and unite in their prayers and devotion to their Lords, but apparently this is not the case and there are hundreds, if not thousands, of tinier and tinier branches of Christianity alone.

The reasons branches of churches divide up like this are usually complex, historically significant, and rather dull when written into history books. I usually try to imagine religious scholars, over the centuries, getting mindlessly drunk on monk's brewed wine, and arguing about the finer points of theological reasoning...with swords at the ready to settle the arguments. Perhaps they are trying to decide whether God meant them to wear beige robes with red tassels, or magnolia with pastel pink. The arguments grow, usually because of egos rather than any well-thought out theological point, and eventually churches split up, suddenly creating yet another "true religion" that is more pure and true than the first.

The end result - i.e. the multiple divisions that we have in religions today - typically bears no relation whatsoever to the original reasons for the split. Humans being humans, they find new things to argue about; new leaders come along and rewrite things, and before you know it they are fighting with one another about an entirely new subject that they used to agree upon.

This is great for people like me because it means there is plenty of material for satirical piss-taking! Two caveats.

First, I am unlikely to cover any of the major cults. This is not because I don't wish to - if anything they deserve ridicule far more than the real religions - but they are known to silence critics with horses heads in beds and so on. Not being equipped with either expensive lawyers, a team of gun-toting thugs, or both, I'm not really willing to take the risk frankly....
 
Second, while I will aim to be generally respectful to the spiritual beliefs of individuals, some readers of my work may have noticed that I tend to be undiplomatic at times. If you are religious and easily offended, please don't read these articles. If you do, don't start complaining to me that they should be removed because they offend your God. Major hypocrisy and bullshit is endemic in most of the worlds religions, and that offends my God. Instead, if you disagree with what I say, tell me why and we'll debate it. Maybe we'll reach some common understanding.

Enjoy the series! Feedback encourages more articles ;)