Someone else wants land in Israel

Playmobil model of the proposed structure, yesterday

There are two main schools of thought on the origin of life on Earth. Some people believe that it was created by a divine being, also known as "God", others assert that it arose gradually from the primordial soup and developed by the process of evolution. There is another theory. Aliens designed it, using genetic engineering techniques. This is the belief of members of Raelianism. They also believe that they should be granted a large chunk of land near Jerusalem...

So in arguments about how life arose, common issues always arise. The creationists say that God created life. In their minds, that is the only possible explanation, because it says so in their holy books. Also, with the main alternative being evolutionary theory, it just must be God's work! Life is too complex to have arisen by chance. I mean look at that bacterial motor.
The Darwinists, on the other hand, have many decades of hard biological experiments, demonstrating time and time again the truths within the theory of evolution. No scientific evidence of God has been found anywhere, ever. They haven't proven evolution 100%, and frankly they are way off describing how life could have begun, but they are pretty damn sure they are in the right ball park.

Raelianism is a bit like creationism but does not rely on deities. Instead, the belief is that life on Earth was created about 35000 years ago by a race of aliens called Elohim. They, in turn, were created by some other aliens, and so on ad infinitum. A convenient theory, as you don't have to explain away Gods with supernatural powers, or provide ultimate proof of a fantastic theory like the rise of life from the primordial soup. You just have to believe in aliens, and many people find it easier to believe in aliens than in  Gods. In fact, plenty of scientists believe in aliens. In Raelian philosophy, evolution occurs when one species creates the next in a test tube.

Similar to all the best obscure beliefs, this one started with a man alone in the mountains. I mean, it had to be, right? These things always happen where no one else can see. It's never in the middle of a shop, or on the number 6 bus. The founder of the religion was a Frenchman named Claude Vorilhon. Primed perfectly in his early years for a life as a spiritual leader, having been a slightly unsuccessful racing car driver for a number of years; and blessed with the necessary edge of paranoia, being both Jewish and French, he was the perfect person to start a new religion. So on this particular day in 1973, (he neglects to mention in his book what quantity of psilocybin he ingested on that morning) he was walking on a volcano in some obscure region of south-central France, when he met an alien who told him he had been chosen. And the aliens were desperate for him to spread the word about their benevolent love and the message that they are our creators. So naturally they gave him all sorts of proof of their existence? Well, not really, no. In fact they didn't even allow him to take photos of them or their equipment. Nor tell him how any of it works, nor even say where they were from. Instead, they quoted the bible at him, and explained how they were responsible for much of what happened in it.

See, Elohim is the Hebrew word for "God" or Gods, but according to Vorillhon it has been mistranslated. It actually means, "comedy four foot tall alien, in stereotypical 1960s flying saucer, who exists only in the mind of a delusional racing car driver." He claims that they planned and designed life on Earth. Oh, and Moses, Jesus,  Buddha and any other influential religious figure you might happen to think of, were all sent by them. Except Popes. They chose now to come and communicate with us because we have reached a suitable technological level to be able to understand the genetic engineering involved. They didn't appear to the whole world, or even just to world leaders, with these revelations - because they were worried about hostility. Instead, they decided to entrust the whole thing to one slightly neurotic racing car driver, who they nicknamed "Rael". It is his mission to convince the world of the message of the Elohim, and only when most of the world are believers will they truly reveal themselves. Oh, and, when their embassy is created.

Some crop circles are thought to be made by the Elohim

That's right, embassy. Part of Vorillhon's mission is not only to persuade the world that the Elohim are coming, he also has to design and build a welcoming space in the form of an embassy, on neutral territory, with neutral airspace. Effectively, a mini country. The proposed embassy is about 350 hectares, some 8 times larger than the Vatican. There are drawings and visions of the place which were inspired by Crop Circles, Scifi films and PlayMobil toys. It has a UFO pad for the Elohim to land their ship on and dome-like spaces that give it the feel of a moonbase.
Where do they want this? Somewhere remote, where conflict between people is a distant memory, somewhere people will welcome these peaceful newcomers into their lands? No, they want it in Israel, about 5 miles north of Jerusalem. Apparently the Jews are the direct descendants of "the children born of the unions between the sons of Elohim and the daughters of men," as opposed to cloned animals like the rest of humanity, so the Elohim want the Embassy to be in the Promised Land amongst the chosen people. However, if Israel refuses to grant permission for the embassy to be built, then the Jews will be smited forever and the Elohim will just find another chosen people. In any case, when the Elohim arrive, sometime between now and 2035, only the most enthusiastic supporters of Rael will be worthy.
To this end, Vorillhon has officially applied to the State of Israel for this land on many occasions, and made appeals to the chief Rabbis to persuade them that he is the Messiah. (Including a brilliant bit about Hitler starting the holocaust because he had a vision of Vorillhon's coming - he was born in France in 1946). He points out the massive benefits to the local tourist industry if the appeal is granted. He says that if the land is not granted, then the Jews will once again be dispersed, with great suffering.
However, he also chose a swastika emblazoned within a Star of David as the Raelians' official symbol and states in no uncertain terms the Elohim's disgust at the current state of Israel and its stance against Palestine. In separate writings, he states that the Jews were dispersed and punished in the first place, by the Elohim, because they didn't believe in Jesus. So he's not really bending over backwards to win their hearts and minds, frankly. Effectively he's telling the Jews that they need to buck their ideas up.Needless to say the Israeli authorities have been less than forthcoming about granting Vorillhon's request.  Meanwhile, terrorist groups worldwide have offered him billions of dollars, and more virgins than you can shake a stick at, should he succeed in getting the land he wants...

Last year it was announced that talks are already underway with China, which has the highest concentration of reported UFO sightings in the world. Israel had better hurry up and grant them what they want, or the Chinese will get all the glory...

His main persuasion technique is rather flimsy. Alongside cheesy soundbites such as:

Be aware that the name "Rael" is the root of the word "Israel" and without roots, the tree cannot live...

...he states that everything the Elohim have told him  is backed up by "all the ancient religious writings, legends, traditions, as well as modern science." Naturally, all of these documents are in harmony with each other. I mean, no one could argue that the Bible is at odds with, say, modern Palaeontology, could they? They just different sides of the same coin, needing this final piece of the puzzle so that they make sense together.

"The Raelian philosophy is one of understanding and not believing, that's why Rael himself asks you not to believe him blindly but to do your own research and see if the pieces of the puzzle match for you."
Oh, I see! Its about understanding! Well that's OK then. For a minute there I thought he was asking people to believe in an obscure bunch of people who want their own territory in the Middle East, just on blind faith. I mean, that would be stupid, right?

The Elohim have hoodies and goaties, but are not thought to be teenagers.

Over the years he has brought more attention to the Raelian movement with a series of elaborate publicity stunts and deliberate stirring of controversy. Largely because of these acts, membership in the movement has reached more than 80000 worldwidew in the past, though current estimates put the figure at closer to 60000. The most renowned of these publicity stunts was the announcement in 2002 of the first human clone, "Eve", by the company Clonaid which is run by Raelian member Briggitte Boisselier. It came only a few years after scientists announced the birth of Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep. Clonaid's announcement differed from the news about Dolly in two major respects. Firstly, the scientists who created Dolly published an open, peer-reviewed research article on the process, whereas Boissellier published only some insane gibberings in press interviews; secondly, Dolly was there for all to see whereas no one has met Eve. Ever. Even her parents. But obviously, no one questions that Eve is really a cloned human being. I mean, these people are scientists, right? Of course, Vorillhon denies any link between the Raelian movement and Clonaid, which just happens to have been founded by himself and run by one of the senior Bishops, and shares the same scientific goals...

Other stunts have included naked protesting, anti-Catholic demonstrations (such as burning crosses and handing out thousands of condoms in Catholic schools), and promotion of sexual liberty. Which also prompted arguments from the Catholics. In fact, they kind of hate Catholics with a passion, actually, which seems to contradict the Elohim's desire for peace amongst all men, but I'm no expert, I may be misinterpreting.

'E's not the messiah! He's a very naughty boy! (Sorry, had to get that line in somewhere...)

It's odd the way things can seem different depending on how you look at them. Raelianism seems like it's some harmless, benevolent hippies trying to reconnect with our long lost creators from across the Universe, but it's easy to see it as a madman trying to start his own country and pour flame on two of the world's major religions. But I'll say one thing for it. The idea that aliens created life is significantly more plausible than a divine creator. Then again, what's the difference?

The world is going to end on october 16th 2011

I hope you are ready. Some people have been preparing for this event for months - building concrete shelters, contacting their loved ones, stocking up on food/cannabis/antipsychotic meds, but most importantly, posting videos about it on the internet.

For let it be known that, sooner or later, the apocalypse is upon us, for Nibiru - the 12th planet of the Solar System, will soon make it's cataclysmic approach close to Earth, where it passes by every 3600 years. Either this year or next year, by all accounts. And it will cause a major catastrophe. It may even strike the earth causing an extinction level event.



Apparently, Nibiru is a planet about 4 times the size of Earth, though the details vary depending upon who you listen to. Some people reckon it is actually a brown dwarf (significantly larger than Jupiter) and has it's own satellite planets. Others still reckon that one of these satellite planets will collide with the Earth. More recently people have started believing it is actually just a comet. More on this later.

Many people claim to have already observed Nibiru in the sky and have posted videos and star charts. However the real leaders in the field are the ones talking to the aliens.
Oh, didn't I mention that bit? Yes, Nibiru is populated by a race of aliens, with whom humans have shared information and resources on past flybys. Some people even think that humanity came from there in the first place. The coming of Nibiru will bring about this big old "consciousness shift" that everyone keeps talking about in the same breath as "Mayan end date"/"Age of Aquarius" (delete as appropriate). Of course the Mayans knew all about Nibiru too, as did the Egyptians and, ooh, half a dozen other ancient civilisations whose records and knowledge has mostly been lost. So we can't verify that they knew, we'll just have to rely on faith. Oh.

Some other aliens involved in all this are the Zetans, and they host live chat sessions online via a woman in Wisconsin called Nancy Leider. Clearly, these aliens are benevolent and compassionate and are happy to tell us all sorts of secrets about science, and the way our planet works. It was they who first warned us about the coming of Nibiru. Obviously. They are not related to the Zutons. Or the Mysterons.

So, is Nibiru a planet, or a star, or what? There was a theory in astronomy, until relatively recently that the Sun had an undetected companion star called Nemesis, that periodically passed through the Oort cloud causing a bombardment of comets heading towards earth, roughly every 26 million years. However it's since been shown to be bollocks. Anyway, this is where the idea came from that Nibiru is a brown dwarf rather than an actual planet, even though the orbit periods are a little out of sync. Conspiracy nuts getting mixed up between the different astronomical concepts.

The most recent idea about Nibiru is the link with a comet which was discovered by Leonid Elenin in december of last year. This comet has a long elliptical orbit of 3,600 years and is passing through the inner solar system as we speak, for the first time since the age of the Babylonians. Naturally, when this discovery was made, it answered the prayers of many Nibiru believers, who have leapt upon the images and videos of the comet produced by NASA over the last few months and used some ridiculous pseudoscience/consipracy theory to justify why NASA are completely wrong about it. Some believe that the object is Nibiru, others believe it is one of Nibiru's satellites. Apparently, others just believe any old bullshit they read on the internet without really thinking it through, though I don't have any evidence for that.

According to NASA this is a rather typical comet, being about three miles in diameter and composed mostly of ice, with no magnetic field or heat sources. At this distance, the comet will have about the same gravitational effect on the earth as, say, a car. It will make its closest pass to the Earth in the middle of October, when it will be around 0.23 AU away.  NASA are, even as I write, beginning a series of orbital telescope observations of the comet and are very excited by the opportunity to study it.

The theory goes that, far from being a comet, this object (whose working name is C/2010 X1) is actually a brown dwarf star with a mass thousands of times that of the earth. The fact that the object is not yet visible to the naked eye, and that resultant perturbations in the orbital fields of the inner planets have not been seen, is lightly brushed aside by the believers. Apparently the object was in alignments with the Earth and other planets at two key times recently that coincided with the earthquakes in Japan and New Zealand. At the time of the Japan event, the object was only 6AU distant from the Earth. The next planetary alignment involving the object will occur on september 26th; the closest the object will be to the Earth is 0.23AU which will occur on october 16th. Given the size of the Japan and NZ earthquakes, believers reckon that these dates will see massive devastation across the Earth and some (including these Zetans) predict a pole shift.

The theories and ideas surounding Nibiru, Elenin and related phenomena are extremely varied. However, one thing unites them all. That is that all reputable astronomers think it's a load of horseshit.
They've never found one shred of evidence for a large planet in the outer solar system; they don't think any planet could have an orbit like the one purported for Nibiru (which is supposed to lie in a plane at an acute angle to the main plane of the solar system) ; they've discounted the Nemesis theory (which was only based on flimsy geological data anyway) and they have proven that the object C/2010 X1 has no significant mass and behaves like a normal comet. Furthermore, the idea that any kind of heavenly body alignment can cause earthquakes was bogus from the start: they are caused by tectonic plate shifts, and nothing short of a major planetary collision will really make a difference. Not some little snowball that we can't even see without telescopes.

Gallifrey returns in Doctor Who - an inspiration for eschatologists?

When asked why these theories appear to contradict the message put out by the experts, believers all say the same thing. "It's a cover up, innit." Well, bugger me, I'd never have expected that! Something we can't explain, ooh, it must be covered up by the government, yes, that's always what happens, that way we don't need to prove anything. Yes, NASA are hiding the truth and putting out false data because they don't want panic to rise. (Well, perhaps the Illuminati are controlling NASA and it's them who are witholding the information. Just like that giant demigod that lives under the Arctic they've been hiding from us all). The authorities have known about this for years, being in communication themselves with these Zetans and have planned for their own survival (there are hilarious videos of some alien giving a press conference to world leaders) and there is nothing the likes of you and I can do except spread the word and stay safe. And post paranoid videos on the internet.

So there you have it readers. Major Earthquakes on September 26th and possible destruction of humanity on October 16th. All sounds a little apocalyptic, really, doesn't it? There's only 5 weeks to go. And here's me living in a major Earthquake zone. Still, enough time to get a few more blogs in....

Actually in all seriousness, if there really is a major earthquake on September 26th, maybe I'll start believing in some of this stuff. But Global Consciousness Shifts? Perhaps if this natural disaster wipes out all the TV stations in the world...More likely though, these dates will come and go, nothing significant will happen, and the Nibiru believers will say, "well, y'know, we were wrong about the comet, but Nibiru is definitely still out there and it's comin' next year..."!

Twilight Eyes - Book review

Dean Koontz's Twilight Eyes is brilliant!
A novel set in a world where some "humans" are in fact strange otherworldly goblin beings, invisible to most of the population but visible to our hero Slim.
From an early age he has embarked on a one man war against these strange creatures, who seem only interested in slowly wiping out humans and thriving on our suffering.
Slim has a variety of psychic powers, as do some of the other characters he meets along the way, so the book is packed with visions, prophecies and other psychic phenomena.
Warning to anyone who is a little sensitive - this is a dark book and there are lots of grim gorey bits. It is not light reading.
The only real problem with this book is that the main character is a little unbelievable. He's only 17 yet appears to have the wit and intelligence of someone in their mid-30s. This discrepancy is commented on in the book, alluding to his very unusual childhood and goblin war maiking him "grow up fast" but this can't explain how he seems to have the vocabulary of an Oxford professor.
Nonetheless a brilliant story that will appeal to anyone interested in the powers of the unknown, alien races and fans of the show Carnivale.